текст арииС разных сторон сцены входят Зерг и Фортала с мечами в руках. За Зергом тенью следует Юрий, за Форталой - Иллиан. Бойцы становятся в позицию, Иллиан и Юрий занимают места секундантов.
Иллиан:
Чести славу поет безмолвие,
Юрий:
Чести славу поет безумие,
Иллиан:
Честь в чести у прекраснословия,
Юрий:
Не в чести у благоразумия.
Иллиан:
Честь - мерило супружней верности,
Юрий:
Честь - мерило солдатской доблести,
Иллиан:
Честь шагает в обнимку с дерзостью,
Юрий:
Честь шагает в обнимку с гордостью!
Бойцы сходятся в поединке. Юрий и Иллиан лишь остаются наблюдать - призрак и человек, которые на самом деле не присутствовали при этом поединке.
Иллиан и Юрий:
Честью клянутся и поступаются, Честью служат и честью просят, Честь продается и покупается, Честь добывают и с честью носят.
Честь по чести - как кровь по лезвию: Стон клинка похоронной вестью. Честь в ближайшем родстве с бессмертием, Честь в ближайшем родстве со смертью!
Кодекс чести начертан пурпуром, Честь и кровь неразрывно связаны. Честной сталью в игре по-крупному Честь оказана! Честь оказана!
На последних аккордах свет плавно переходит в красный. Зерг наносит Фортале смертельный удар. Фортала падает. Зерг застывает над ним безмолвной статуей. Юрий подходит к Зергу и, накинув на него плащ, уводит со сцены.
I'm not sure if I'm matching the Russian enough but here's an effort on the first 8 lines (minus line three, which will need more thinking about) I'll use the American spelling of honor for now, though there's nothing wrong with the British.
For lines 5 and 6, I think the simplest and most immediately understandable way to do this is to cast it as a male/female divide. You're personifying honor a bit more than is typical in English, and I've adjusted the phrasing accordingly. Line 7 and 8 I'm not sure on. And after that the meter gets really difficult.
Я: for 5 and 6: how do we stress that we measure smth with honour, not the other way around (i.e. honour is an etalon)?
well I had an idea to use honest and honed somewhere where it can be safely inserted if some honour phraze doesn't scan. the point is to fit in as many honour-like words and word combinations as possible without ruining the sense.
can you name some more words with hon- ?
one other way would be to collect as many honour-phrazes in English as possible and construct entirely new lyrics with them
ответ: though, hmm, "strides" indeed might work better for "marches".
nonspecific thoughts on the rest: I don't think using 'one' is correct here, especially so repetitively.
some "honor" phrases, just for general reference. not exhaustive.
"honor demands" "serving honorably" "honor is earned" "it's a privilege and [an] honor" - probably won't scan "worn with honor" - usually only of medals, maybe uniforms. medals can also be called honors
5-6 I think this may be a language barrier issue? It would not be natural to me to say it the other way around but I think the meaning ends up being roughly equivalent rhetorically in this specific case. I think it could be done the other way but I believe a word other then "measure" would need to be used.
To try to unpack what I mean by those lines: an individual's personal honor (against an abstract scale of all honor) is shown by how brave/loyal they are. But the personal honor is a fixed trait, so the bravery/loyalty only shows what is there to begin with?
honest - yes, they share a root. Not honed, they don't and the vowel's wrong.
Hymn to honour sang by dead silence Hymn to honour sang by mad violence Hackneyed by flattering words' exuberance Running counter to sense and prudence
Honour’s a virtue of spouse’s integrity Honour’s a virtue of warrior’s valance Honour’s a sin of youth’s audacity Honour’s a sin of pride and arrogance
Menada, I've sent your draft past filker Bob Esty because I'm stalled on it. When I hear back from him I'll let you know. I've recruited a couple other people who may or may not show up here in due course. I am highly distracted by running the Winterfair ficathon and post-con stuff right now, but I'll try to check in and give feedback to everyone here on Sunday.
teldreaming, нам всем очень интересно узнать, как прошел Confilkt - как англоязычный фэндом воспринял нашу рок-оперу и проект по ее переводу. так что ждем, пока тебя немного отпустят дела с фикатоном, и ты немного расскажешь.
jetta-e: Conflikt is a convention for filkers of all sorts, not specifically the Vorkosigan fandom, and focuses heavily on live music so there was no real opportunity to play song recordings. There are a number of Vorkosigan fans there, of course (two I was expecting were missing, one due to a new baby, another due to legal problems), and I did introduce the translation project to the con, talk to a number of people, hand out info, and attempt to sing Grishnov's part of Night in circle. A few volunteered to help when they have time. I'm not sure if they'll be showing up here or working with me and Philomytha directly.
I have about 12 hours of con audio to split up into tracks, and that takes a while.
A couple contributions to the discussion from me and Bob Esty. This song is tricky, though, and I don't think we're there yet.
Bob, 1st 2 verses: Honor – proclaimed by ghostly silence Honor - proclaimed by raving insanity Honor – shown by courtly politeness Honor – shown to have no rationality
Honor – the measure of woman’s faithfulness Honor – the measure of man’s fearlessness Honor walks hand in hand with insolence Honor walks hand in hand with arrogance
Me, 3rd verse:
Honor is sworn by and dema(-a)nded Honor comes from honored service Honor is bought and sold disgracefully Honors are earned and worn with honor
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11.01.2012 в 22:4010
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Hail the honour in ringing silence
Hail the honour in raving madness
Glorified by courtly eloquence
Hardly valued by sense and prudence
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Honour measures consort behaviour
Honour measures a warrior’s bravery
Honour’s striding along with insolence
Honour’s striding along with arrogance
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Honour one swears on and then it’s given up
Honour one serves with, honour one asks for
Honour one sells out and then it’s taken up
Honour one earns and honourably then goes
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Honour falls on one with grave finality
Crying blood on the blade as it falls
Honour’s one step from immortality
Honour’s one step from death that follows!
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Code of honour inscribed in crimson
Binds inseparably blood and honour
In a game for the highest stake it seems
Only honest steel does the honour!
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11.01.2012 в 23:09I'm not sure if I'm matching the Russian enough but here's an effort on the first 8 lines (minus line three, which will need more thinking about)
I'll use the American spelling of honor for now, though there's nothing wrong with the British.
For lines 5 and 6, I think the simplest and most immediately understandable way to do this is to cast it as a male/female divide. You're personifying honor a bit more than is typical in English, and I've adjusted the phrasing accordingly. Line 7 and 8 I'm not sure on. And after that the meter gets really difficult.
Illyan:
Honor sings from glorious silence
Yuri:
Honor sings from the heart of madness
Illyan:
[line 3 - I'm thinking honor something something something poetry]
Yuri:
There's no honor in rationality
Illyan;
Honor's measured by women's loyalty
Yuri:
Honor's measured by men's bravery
Illyan:
Honor marches ahead with fearlessness
Yuri:
Honor marches ahead with arrogance
Я: for 5 and 6:
how do we stress that we measure smth with honour, not the other way around (i.e. honour is an etalon)?
well I had an idea to use honest and honed somewhere where it can be safely inserted if some honour phraze doesn't scan.
the point is to fit in as many honour-like words and word combinations as possible without ruining the sense.
can you name some more words with hon- ?
one other way would be to collect as many honour-phrazes in English as possible and construct entirely new lyrics with them
ответ:
though, hmm, "strides" indeed might work better for "marches".
nonspecific thoughts on the rest: I don't think using 'one' is correct here, especially so repetitively.
some "honor" phrases, just for general reference. not exhaustive.
"honor demands"
"serving honorably"
"honor is earned"
"it's a privilege and [an] honor" - probably won't scan
"worn with honor" - usually only of medals, maybe uniforms.
medals can also be called honors
5-6 I think this may be a language barrier issue? It would not be natural to me to say it the other way around but I think the meaning ends up being roughly equivalent rhetorically in this specific case. I think it could be done the other way but I believe a word other then "measure" would need to be used.
To try to unpack what I mean by those lines: an individual's personal honor (against an abstract scale of all honor) is shown by how brave/loyal they are. But the personal honor is a fixed trait, so the bravery/loyalty only shows what is there to begin with?
honest - yes, they share a root. Not honed, they don't and the vowel's wrong.
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14.01.2012 в 10:36-
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31.01.2012 в 23:03Hymn to honour sang by mad violence
Hackneyed by flattering words' exuberance
Running counter to sense and prudence
Honour’s a virtue of spouse’s integrity
Honour’s a virtue of warrior’s valance
Honour’s a sin of youth’s audacity
Honour’s a sin of pride and arrogance
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01.02.2012 в 05:41-
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01.02.2012 в 05:48-
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01.02.2012 в 10:33-
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02.02.2012 в 06:50I have about 12 hours of con audio to split up into tracks, and that takes a while.
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02.02.2012 в 19:06-
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26.02.2012 в 11:21Bob, 1st 2 verses:
Honor – proclaimed by ghostly silence
Honor - proclaimed by raving insanity
Honor – shown by courtly politeness
Honor – shown to have no rationality
Honor – the measure of woman’s faithfulness
Honor – the measure of man’s fearlessness
Honor walks hand in hand with insolence
Honor walks hand in hand with arrogance
Me, 3rd verse:
Honor is sworn by and dema(-a)nded
Honor comes from honored service
Honor is bought and sold disgracefully
Honors are earned and worn with honor